I thought about ending my life tonight. I thought about the ways I could go about it without having my family stop me. I have gotten really good at pretending that I’m okay. I can smile at will, and laugh when I don’t want to. I have mastered keeping my tears to myself. I was really close to ending my life tonight…part of me thinks I still might. I can physically feel the itch to cut myself again, to trace my healed scars until my mother’s name is in ruins. I can feel the itch at the surface of my skin as it crawls from my arms to my thighs. I’m fighting it, but I don’t know if I want to fight it anymore.
Ghost Wife Poems 