I wonder would anyone care if I disappeared. Not if I died but if I just disappeared, if I left without saying anything. I could buy a ticket to California or New York without saying anything. I would pack my bags, silently in the night and wait until everyone was asleep, call an uber and let them take me away. I would delete all my social media and make it look like I never existed. I’ve thought about it…sometimes it’s a fleeting thought, one that comes and goes without a second glance. Other times I dwell on it until my jaw hurts from my unconcious tightening. I look at flights and train rides, I wonder what I would take and if I’d at least wait until I graduated. Then I ask myself “Who would miss you? Who would realize that you’re gone? Have you made an impact on anyone? Have you made a lasting impression? Is there anything that anyone could remember you by? Would you regret it if you left? Would you regret it if you stayed?” Finally, I wonder if I’d at least tell my mother.
I realized that I could disappear and it really wouldn’t matter.
Ghost Wife Poems 